This may lack intellectual adequacy, but I hope you will listen to me,
Of your services, scam or serious, I have no curiosity!
I do not want your AI nor do I need your SEO... please stop trying to sell your business services to me.
I do not want your marketing program,
I do not want your customer loyalty data clearing my digital log jam,
I do not want your programming expertise...
...I want you to please...
...stop trying to sell your business or professional services to me.
I do not want your business acumen,
I do not care about your case studies or experience,
I do not mean to be mean in these dark streets...
...but I am not a solo sheep in which you are hearing a lost and confused "bleep!"
I am not accusing you of being a wolf or other thing with teeth!
But you cannot see the ambitions under these Netherworld Post's front office floorboards, hidden beneath!
Please stop trying to sell your business services to me.
This ghost post office project of specific oddness,
And unusual quality Is being specifically built layer by layer by layer by layer,
With witchy magic and mermaid kisses from cursed and lost seas.
I thank you for your time,
but please do not try to sell
your business services to me.
- I have in years past (starting in 2020, to be specific!) grumbled much over the time it has taken!
- And yes, there are times when I have stumbled!
- And yes!
- There are times my spirit has been shaken!
But by the moon's light above, soft pure clean and energizing, I do not desire your professional services! Here, there is will be no synergizing!
Please do not try to sell professional nor business services to me!
Surely there will be a time when I announce openings for RFPs! (Requests! For Proposals! That cutting of letters be!)
But now is not the time and nor will it be soon as the work I do now is driven into my heart straight from the moon!
Please do not try to sell to me!
Business services or professional platforms!
Or any of your numerous apps or systems you say will make sales, with pitches, "Easy! Press a button! Click the cash register, 1-2-3!"
This bad song I have sung and/or this weird poem I have written
In hopes that you shall see this and know your chances are nothin'
Without angst or anger or any feelings other than a desire to be straight forward with you as I can be!
This has been posted and will be referenced today / tomorrow / next Tuesday, I'm sure (checking from the future, it's true!)
Netherworld Post Office! is one part art project!
Is one part business!
Is one part problem!
Haha!
Glorious and true and without exaggeration!
It is not here to maximize profits, only phantasmal fun,
It is not here to be the largest card producer under the sun!
It is a dream, a wonder, a delight, a very weird thing! A fantasy!
I say this respectfully, I do not need your business nor professional services! Please stop trying to sell to me!
When this changes, an ANNOUNCEMENT will be made, as such is the way of things in the SMALL BUSINESS ARCADE
and in this light there will be (you know this already) BELLS and WHISTLES and loud banners proclaiming there is then MONEY TO BE MADE
in this card shop run by a...
wait what GENDER am i today... glance down, good gracious, MAIDEN?!
(Bugs Bunny ruleset: yes! Maiden upon writing, because it makes the bit work! Gender bending cavorting queer kissing monsters is part of my brand, and if this is not something you tolerate, I shall change it not, to hell with you and the land upon which you stand!)
"Dictated but not read," I grumble to my assistant at roughly midnight whilst we have envelopes to pack
"No time for this frivolity," I shout! Despite being the very one to insist
This be written, now!
And be ready for a posting on the site tomorrow
So it can be mailed out when I sit in my chair, surcease of sorrow,
Having done my duty to inform all whom upon my door knock, wishing to try their luck, in prying from my wallet money / cash / opportunity / a quick buck.